Adjusting slowly...

After being back in Cookeville a little over a week, the dream stage is fading, and I am realizing more and more each day that I am here for good--this is real. I am using less and less Spanish vocabulary in the middle of my English sentences, and I am slowly remembering that I do not have to translate my thoughts for family members. I think this is good for me because it means I am adjusting back into my own culture, but I am just afraid of forgetting important things that I learned or loved before coming home.

I wanted to clarify my feelings that I wrote about last week. I do not, in any way, hold any resentment toward my country nor my upbringing. If you ask some of the other members in the study abroad group that shared the experience with me, they will tell you--I was the one defending my patriotism, listening to that southern country music, and preaching on how grateful I am to be from the US of A. I defended my flag when anti-army Costa Ricans made verbal attacks against it. I vocalized my opinions when my professors told me that Costa Rica was superior to the United States because of their socialized medicine or their 25% conserved land (these issues are easier to conquer when your country consists of less than five million people instead of three hundred million). I have always been proud of my country and the opportunities it has given me, never mind it's shortcomings. Last week, I was simply sharing my post-study abroad feelings that every student who becomes well-adjusted in a foreign country goes through. Yes, I have been pointing out the faults in my own country; however, this does not mean that I did not find plenty of faults in the culture of Costa Rica. Believe me, they have a whole gamut of problems of their own, and I was there in plenty of time to see and understand these issues. Nothing is efficient, pollution is horrendous, and they have some racist conflicts of their own. To top it off, many of the countries of Central or Latin America are still searching for their cultural identities. The United States has such an incredible influence on Costa Rica that McDonald's are just as common there as they are here. Therefore, I do not want any of my friends or family thinking that I am going to protest this Fourth of July instead of celebrating my red, white, and blue heritage with fireworks and patriotic music. I am just as proud as the next guy to be from the land of the free and the home of the brave. I just found another place on the planet that makes me happy, too.

After having said all of that, I thought I should share something that I decided to do in Costa Rica that I am very excited about. As many of you know, my trip abroad changed me. I was not in a place that I wanted to be in my life before I left, and I came back as the happy Brittney that I want to be. I obviously still have plenty of work to do in my life, but I am now at a point where I am happy with myself without the need for the input of others. It was like Costa Rica had a hand in changing me, and then made an imprint on the rest of my life. In order to remember that change, I decided to get a tattoo. I know, I know. I will most likely end up regretting it one day. However, I want to live for me. I want to live for today. Therefore, I did something that I wanted for me. I wanted to put that change that I made into a physical form. So I did. And I love it!
Thanks, bloggers, for tuning in. There is always more to come...