Where has all the simplicity gone?

I miss simplicity. I miss sitting in Trigo Miel staring out the entrance watching people go by and having absolutely nothing to worry about.

I miss my biggest care being the decision of which beach to go to this weekend. I miss not worrying about my homework assignment due tomorrow.

I miss feeling like I found something great. I miss having a group of friends that would always be at the coffee shop at one time or another.

I miss cheering for my team in the fan section in the rain. I miss chasing down a bus after the game because they're all full.

I miss paying with coins. I miss cafe con leche and gallo pinto.

I miss piropos. I miss not caring that my love handles were showing under my shirt.

I miss walking the city streets. I miss speaking Spanish all the time.

I miss platanos. I miss going to bars and meeting people.

I miss Imperial and Bavaria. Heck, I even miss Pilsen.

I miss cuba libres in cans. I miss Spanish text messages.

I miss free tequila shots and Jager bombs from Marcos just because he wanted to say hi.

I miss being called Margarita.

I miss Dulce's pancake and banana breakfasts. I miss run of the mill hostels for ten dollars a night. I miss the cow parade and the catchy bell that tells you to cross the street.

I miss red taxis.

I miss the Santo Domingo bus. And the Tuasa. And the por pista. And por Tibas. And the Coca Cola station.

I miss San Pablo.

I miss pineapples. And coconuts. And mora. And oranges. Fresh ones.

I miss mas por menos. I miss silly conversations with taxi drivers when I tell them I'm from Canada. I miss paseo.

I miss real craziness--not just white trash rednecks trying to get trashed.

I miss festival imperial. I miss parque central.

I miss Ellen, Renee, Amelia, and Amanda.

I miss late night boyfriend stories with Melissa. I miss afternoon debates with Dulce. I miss legos with Alejandro. I miss language exchange with Marco Venicio.

I miss having Marcos repeat himself until I understand.

I miss el testy.

I miss the cranky witch at the post office. I miss the cute guy at the post office.

I miss el gallo mas gallo. I miss la esquina del sabor.

I miss taking a different way home everyday.

I miss speedy internet. And the people that work there. Especially the nice one. And the asian guy.

I miss colones.

I miss Dulce. Melissa. Marcos. Adriana. Alejandro. Valeria. Daniel. Marco. Lucia. The Gringos.

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I miss Costa Rica. And all that it represents. And all that it was for me. And the way I could be there that I can't be here.

I wanna go home.

So I couldn't stop thinking about it...

In the most recent few years, I have continued to proclaim that I hate it when children are forced to be adults because adults act like children. This issue, for lack of a better word, has been a great offense to me in my life, and I find more and more everyday that great numbers of children are being forced to grow up much faster than they should simply because the adults in their lives are acting like children.

What do I mean by adults acting like children and children being adults? Let me explain. Up until a certain age of adulthood, children/teenagers are so-called because they don’t (or should not, in my opinion) have certain responsibilities that are otherwise reserved for “adults.” Children should not have to take care of their younger siblings in public because mommy can’t keep them quiet, be the ones to insist on visiting their great-grandfather in the nursing home because daddy says he can’t make time, or choose either mom or dad’s side when parents argue in front of their children and make the child a part of the hateful discussion. I think that part of being a child is the fact that you don’t have the worries that adults do. That’s part of growing up. Everyone wishes they could go back to their childhood when they had no worries, but many children today just want to grow up so they at least have a little control over the responsibilities that are imposed upon them. With adulthood, and parenthood especially, comes the responsibility to keep children from hearing/seeing/dealing with issues that should and need to be reserved for adults.

If a couple with three children is going through a divorce because one of the partners cheated, the three children should have no clue that mommy has another boyfriend or that daddy now resents her for it. The children should be slowly eased into the idea that mommy and daddy just simply don’t agree all the time and they should not live together or be married anymore. The children should have no idea of the hate that goes on behind the closed doors of an argument and should only see the love that both parents still have for all three children. They should also remember that closed doors don’t necessarily mean closed ears. Children, especially teenagers, catch on to things like that, and adults have to be careful of what they are doing or saying all the time.

One reason I have such a respect for my mother is the fact that throughout my entire life, from the time I can remember till today, she has never said one negative thing about my father to me since their divorce. NOT ONE NEGATIVE COMMENT. She knew that as I grew up, I should form my own opinions and think my own thoughts, and that as a child/teenager, I should not have to deal with the burdens of adulthood. No matter how she feels/felt about my father, she never had anything but good things to say about him because she took on her responsibility as a parent and as an adult to make sure her daughter had a positive view of her father, no matter the circumstances. For that, I have the utmost respect for her.

I guess what I am trying to say is that many adults nowadays need to GROW UP. Take the initiative. Many times, when you are an adult, it is not called initiative, it’s called responsibility. GROW UP and initiate the conversation with your teenager—don’t wait for him to come and talk to you. It’s not his job. GROW UP and realize that your problems are not your sons’ problems—deal with them yourself because he should not even have to know about them. GROW UP and stop preventing your children from living their childhood and adolescence as they were meant to be lived—without worry or responsibility. GROW UP and realize it’s not all about you—your children deserve their childhood. They only get one, and there’s no going back.

Love,
B

Make it stop...

We're nearing fall break here at Tech, and Brittney has had enough. I ended up dropping my Don Quijote class because I just couldn't take it anymore. Call me a quitter if you wish; maybe I am when it comes to that class. However, I was falling behind in my other classes just because the Don Quijote reading and literary diaries were taking up all of my study time. The day that I dropped the class, I was really upset about it, but as soon as I turned in the "drop" form, I felt as if I had just taken the 1500 pound sack of flour off my back. Now I am down to twelve hours of school, but it is just right for me this semester as I still feel like I am in transition.

At Tech, I have always been keen on taking unreasonable numbers of hours per semester just so that I could finish early or on time and get out of there! However, I have learned recently that if taking an extra semester or year in school is going to allow me to sustain my happiness, then it is worth every second. Taking 19 hours in a single semester and working 25 hours per week all equals no free time and constant stress for me. I won't let anything that is under my control interfere with my happiness. I won't.

Now that all that underlying resentment for school is out of the way, I will tell you that I have been doing well in my education classes and getting excited about the teaching part of my Spanish career. I have been observing a high school Spanish teacher at Cookeville High School, and being around the job that I will eventually have makes me really want to dive right in.

Ellen and her roommate, Shauna, came to visit a few weekends ago. They drove in and hung out with me Friday night, I took her to Kendall's pee-wee game, Sunset rock, and El Tapatio on Saturday. Let me tell ya, she was super impressed with all Sparta has to offer ( haha).

Fall break is coming up this weekend, and I'm pretty sure I will just be working, working, working. That's okay with me, though, because I am trying my hardest to save up for next summer's trips. :) I plan on taking another Costa Rica trip for a week or two to see my family and vacation a bit. Then, I hope everything works out to go on the Mexico mission trip with Central. After that, I may have to take a summer class, but I hope that won't be necessary. Either way, I plan to spend at least a month in a Latin American country going to a few Spanish classes and doing volunteer work. I just have to find a program that will allow me to do this all within my budget range. Cross your fingers for me!!

All for now. See you soon!

-B