In the most recent few years, I have continued to proclaim that I hate it when children are forced to be adults because adults act like children. This issue, for lack of a better word, has been a great offense to me in my life, and I find more and more everyday that great numbers of children are being forced to grow up much faster than they should simply because the adults in their lives are acting like children.
What do I mean by adults acting like children and children being adults? Let me explain. Up until a certain age of adulthood, children/teenagers are so-called because they don’t (or should not, in my opinion) have certain responsibilities that are otherwise reserved for “adults.” Children should not have to take care of their younger siblings in public because mommy can’t keep them quiet, be the ones to insist on visiting their great-grandfather in the nursing home because daddy says he can’t make time, or choose either mom or dad’s side when parents argue in front of their children and make the child a part of the hateful discussion. I think that part of being a child is the fact that you don’t have the worries that adults do. That’s part of growing up. Everyone wishes they could go back to their childhood when they had no worries, but many children today just want to grow up so they at least have a little control over the responsibilities that are imposed upon them. With adulthood, and parenthood especially, comes the responsibility to keep children from hearing/seeing/dealing with issues that should and need to be reserved for adults.
If a couple with three children is going through a divorce because one of the partners cheated, the three children should have no clue that mommy has another boyfriend or that daddy now resents her for it. The children should be slowly eased into the idea that mommy and daddy just simply don’t agree all the time and they should not live together or be married anymore. The children should have no idea of the hate that goes on behind the closed doors of an argument and should only see the love that both parents still have for all three children. They should also remember that closed doors don’t necessarily mean closed ears. Children, especially teenagers, catch on to things like that, and adults have to be careful of what they are doing or saying all the time.
One reason I have such a respect for my mother is the fact that throughout my entire life, from the time I can remember till today, she has never said one negative thing about my father to me since their divorce. NOT ONE NEGATIVE COMMENT. She knew that as I grew up, I should form my own opinions and think my own thoughts, and that as a child/teenager, I should not have to deal with the burdens of adulthood. No matter how she feels/felt about my father, she never had anything but good things to say about him because she took on her responsibility as a parent and as an adult to make sure her daughter had a positive view of her father, no matter the circumstances. For that, I have the utmost respect for her.
I guess what I am trying to say is that many adults nowadays need to GROW UP. Take the initiative. Many times, when you are an adult, it is not called initiative, it’s called responsibility. GROW UP and initiate the conversation with your teenager—don’t wait for him to come and talk to you. It’s not his job. GROW UP and realize that your problems are not your sons’ problems—deal with them yourself because he should not even have to know about them. GROW UP and stop preventing your children from living their childhood and adolescence as they were meant to be lived—without worry or responsibility. GROW UP and realize it’s not all about you—your children deserve their childhood. They only get one, and there’s no going back.
Love,
B
what to do after the time of my life...
